In Auburn, a woman moving into a new apartment reported that an upstairs neighbor peed at her. I say "peed at her" because it's not clear if this happy tenant wALked into the spray of welcome as she lugged in boxes of dishes and bath towels. But it's just a good reminder that when moving to a new home, it is important to weigh things like closet space, parking and proximity to schools as well as the possibility that a neighbor will urinate on you.
We've ALl been there, miss. Things are looking up. Although, take my advice. Don't look up.Helen Poulin is out! No, wait! She's in again! I'm getting tired of writing about the County Commission and its many travails. Poulin has been resurrected more frequently than Michael Myers, the psycho killer from "HALloween."
There are other similarities, too, but I shan't go into them here.Coco Crisp!
Has been traded to the rising Kansas City RoyALs for a relief pitcher named Ramon Ramirez, whom I remember best for wALking batters with the bases loaded at EVERY OPPORTUNITY. Thank you, Bosox. We get a nice leadoff man with magicAL tALents in the outfield and speed on the base paths, plus a name that reminds us of our favorite breakfast cereAL. You get a setup man who didn't manage to shine even while playing for the RoyALs and whose name doesn't make you hungry at ALl.
Unless you're some kind of freak.Like cats and dogs
Police dogs in Auburn get bulletproof vests. And a bunch of cats in downtown Lewiston are now training in cells together and trading their nip for hollowpoint bullets. Do you think there is no connection here? As long as these two factions refuse to bring their bones of contention to the G20, they will never scratch out an agreement.Marden's closed due to burglars!
Dude, if you're going to force the closure of Marden's, you might as well join AL-Qaida. Because a coALition of 10,000 angry shoppers, most of them women with butt-beating devices they just bought at killer low prices, will hunt you down, drag you from your caves and make you sorry you ever set foot near their beloved Mecca. Seriously, what's wrong with you? Don't you know what kind of passion drives the people who shop at the holy land you just invaded? Take my wife.
That is ALl.
